life · recipes

Mashed Potatoes in a Burrito?

It seems like the biggest staple in my life is staring at my hoard of tortillas and deciding fuck it, I’m making a burrito. 

After a certain point in the week, I start to feel guilty about not using up my perishable foods–this mostly comes about because I’m insanely weak and ignore everything except pasta when I have said pasta in my home. This guilt usually just manifests itself with me haphazardly adding some spinach to my alfredo or tiny, chopped pieces of carrots to my chedder-spiral-pasta-sides-things. But my pasta stash has run out.

Now that were all up to speed:

Mashed Potatoes and Microwaved Eggsthe burrito


My potatoes did not look this aesthetic. But, hey, it looks like the kind I used. Thanks, internet.



  • wheat tortilla??
  • 2 eggs, microwaved
  • leftover chive and sour cream mashed potatoes
    • I think I had about a cup?
    • but, you know, you do you
  • a slice of dope-ass cheese, ripped to bits
    • my friend left some great sliced provolone in her fridge
    • I opened that package so fast
      • it was the fancy Sargento kind
  • sunflower seeds
  • spices
    • I added garlic powder, mustard powder, & pepper to microwaved eggs
      • I also added a splash of milk
        • exactly a splash
    • some hot sauce?


How to Make This Monstrosity

  1. Mix eggs, milk, and seasoning in a microwave-safe bowl. Depending on your amount of milk, timing changes a tad. Best bet: put your mixture in for 45 seconds, pull it out and mix it up a bit. If there’s some extra milk in there cause your version of a “splash” is bigger than mine/you hecked up like I’ve done too many times, just put it back in for about 15 more seconds.
  2. Heat up your mashed potatoes a lil bit.
    • I did about 30 seconds.
    • It worked out.
  3. Put the tortilla on a microwave-safe plate (safety first) and microwave for about 10 seconds.
  4. Flip the tortilla and scoop mashed potatoes onto the new side. Spread them out some before throwing the plate back to the microwave.
  5. Add eggs to potato. Add ripped cheese of choice to the top of the eggs. Sprinkle on some seeds. Add some hot sauce??
    • Hot sauce is just a nice touch.
    • The seeds add a cool crunch.
      • I have a problem.
  6. Roll up your burrito to your liking.
    • I use the classic Taco Bell “V” Wrap© because of my work-past.


When you bit into this, you will become overwhelmed by its bland coloring, but, hey, that’s alright. Hollywood has prepared us for that.